Tips for disagreement

I love getting into a good argument about science! But when I was a student, I sometimes struggled to express disagreement while still coming across as respectful. I have since spent enough time with sociolinguists to recognize that there were a lot of reasons for my struggle, including differences in conversational styles as well as expectations about how junior scientists (perhaps especially female junior scientists) should behave. But in the meantime, I spent a lot of time watching other people argue, and I learned some new ways of engaging in scientific debate. Below are some of the expressions I picked up.

To be clear: I do not think that either of these styles is inherently better. They are different. If you use a blunt style and you want to stick with that, you do you. (I’d love to find something we disagree about and argue sometime!) But if you’re interested in trying out a conversational style that might be perceived by some people as more collegial, consider the right side of this table.

More blunt	More diplomatic
What is your point?	Could you repeat the point you were trying to emphasize?
You are not making sense	I’m having trouble understanding that conclusion; I think it would help if you could walk me through your reasoning
That argument has X giant flaw	The argument could be considerably strengthened by addressing X
That conclusion overstates the evidence	My conclusion would be more modest
You are wrong	It’s not obvious that you’re right
I completely disagree	I can hardly agree with you
That is a really narrow view	Let me rephrase that in a more generic way
That’s not what they meant	I don’t know that that’s a fair reading of the argument
That is a false dichotomy	I don’t think these are the only two views one could have
I need your help	I am grateful for a nudge in the right direction
Hey jerk, way to not cite my paper	I just read your paper in X journal with interest and I thought you might be interested in my paper in Y journal on this issue